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It wasn’t Brain Surgery – It was a Gastric Bypass

You would think that after six months of working towards this goal. After six months of following the rules. After quitting smoking, giving up diet pop and carbonated beverages, after giving up caffeine, after drinking nothing but milk and having no food for four weeks, you would THINK that I’d have my head wrapped around all this and make all the right decisions.

If that was what you were thinking you would be totally wrong. Because I’m here to tell you that even after six months of working my ass off for this, I still have this remarkable ability to fail and be a really daft bat sometimes. I guess the important thing though is that I learn from my mistakes.

I bet you are wondering what I did right? Of course you are – ok so Jason, has been eating this Pastrami that we get at Costco for the last several months. When it comes to Pastrami this is probably the yummiest tasting Pastrami ever created. Of course ten days post operative I’m supposed to be on full liquids, and I have been, for the most part…

You can roll your eyes, I know how that sounds, but really YOU try having NOTHING but liquids for what has it been, six weeks now and see how great the temptation is to put a bite of real food in your mouth. So that’s what I did, I put a bite of pastrami in my mouth. I took care to chew that pastrami until it was like liquid in my mouth, Pastrami mouthwash I’m telling you, and then I did the stupidest thing… I swallowed it.

I should have spit it out; I should have just licked the pastrami, all tricks I have used in the last several weeks to get that little taste that I was wanting without actually breaking the rules and putting something in my new little pouch that I am not supposed to. But yesterday morning, this daft bat swallowed the pastrami.

Now this really would not have been TERRIBLE, but what happened next was really where the OH MY GOD WHAT WAS I THINKING factor comes into play. After I swallowed that Pastrami I attempted to drink my protein shake for the morning. Every time I took a drink it came right back up. I made some hot tea with milk and some sugar free peppermint syrup. Every time I tried to take a sip, within seconds it came back out. This went out for hours, and hours, and hours, like three hours of sip, sip, spit up. Sip, Sip, spit up. Sip, Sip, spit up. It was miserable, and I deserved every moment of it.

I have about four more days to go until I get pureed foods and I can hardly wait. The prospect of getting real food again even if it is the consistency of baby food, is just freaking amazing. I’m going to be trying a chili recipe that a member on Thinner Times posted and whizzing it up into a puree for me and hoping that Jason likes it too, we’ll see.

I put together an Amazon wish list full of things I want in the kitchen to allow me to start trying all the wonderful recipes that Shelly over at The World According to Eggface posts on her site, so hopefully my family and friends will feel like helping me stock the kitchen with the things I need to make cooking after Gastric Bypass a lot easier.

Today we have a trip to Teavana planned, and that should be a lot of fun. Yesterday Jason took me to Target to pick up a couple t-shirts, some new panties and some smaller pants to exercise in. That’s the first time I’ve bought new clothes since this weight loss journey began. I’m trying to buy as little as possible for as cheap as possible along the way, I’m ok with a lot of things being baggy, but saggy underwear is really annoying!

Anyways time to spend the weekend with Jason and Simone – and don’t you worry there is no more Pastrami in my future for a very long time!

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Author: Pandora Williams

Author of Desperately Seeking Slender

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