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Life after Weight Loss

Obesity Action Coalition Convention Day 2

Okay so maybe, and I’m just saying, maybe staying out as late as I did Wednesday night wasn’t the brightest thing I did. But I made several friends that night that I know will last a lifetime now and I’m willing to accept the fact that I sacrificed 7am Aqua-fit in order to make those friends. I’m sure I can find a Aqua-fit Class at 24-hr Fitness when I get home and give it a try in honor of the one I skipped. I’m committed to that as part of the next confessional series or something.

I hit the Convention floor in time to grab a quick, and I mean zippy quick bite of breakfast and met up with Michelle from The World According to Eggface and Beth with MeltingMamma Bariatric Bad Girls Club and Shauna Cox who I sat next to as the Convention started. The Morning speakers were amazing. First up was Joe Nadglowski and Pam Davis from the OAC to Welcome everyone to the inaugural Your Weight Matters National Convention. Next we heard from Amber Huett from the OAC and Dr. Robert Kushner, both again welcoming us to what we all knew was going to be quite a monumental moment in the history of our fight against obesity.

The first speaker that truly impacted me was Dr. Lloyd Stegemann, a Bariatric Surgeon who serves on the National Board of Directors for the OAC as he explained to us that each of us was represented by a stick, alone, we were fragile and easily broken, but together we are strong. As we entered the grand ballroom area for the morning sessions of the convention, each of us were handed a lone chopstick. At the beginning of his analogy Dr. Stegemann snapped his easily in two. Then he grabbed a handful of chopsticks and held them together to show that they could not be so easily broken. It was wonderfully illustrated for us. Tweets were going crazy on the #OACConvention hashtag quoting this part of the morning session. Dr. Stegemann had made quite an impact on several of us the day before at the Advocacy Training session when he played an evil United States Senator that tried to offend us with weight biased comments during our Mock Capital Hill meetings.

Next Dr. Robert Kushner, a Professor of Medicine at Northwestern University, the Clinical Director of the Northwest Comprehensive Center on Obesity in Chicago who serves on the National Board of Directors for the OAC spoke to us on the topic: Losing, Gaining, Maintaining – Is it a Science? I think the most impressive part of his session for most of us was the correlation we all felt to the graphs that he displayed on the prompter that charted an individuals battle with obesity not by the numbers they saw on the scale, but by the events in their life that were happening at the time. I think I will return to this session later on and see if I can’t duplicate one of his charts with my own life history and share it with you all. During the questions and answers segment of his session I got the opportunity to ask Dr. Kushner what his thoughts were on the Opinion of some in the Nutrition and Fitness industry that believe that if you consume too few calories or if you maintain too much of a Caloric Deficit for too long through low-calorie intake and high caloric burn through exercise that it can actually prevent your body from losing weight. This theory is often referred to as the Starvation Syndrome Theory, and suggests that your body begins to hold on to fat and produce a slower metabolic rate if you make it think it is starving. Dr. Kushner spoke of finding our harmony, the point at which we are balanced with the calories we are taking in and the calories we are burning each day to keep ourselves in a healthy weight maintenance phase. I must admit, hearing Dr. Kushner speak really made me wish that I had one of those 24-hr Fitness Body Bugs things so that I could really figure out what my average daily caloric burn is and work on an exercise regimen that would put me in harmony.

The second speaker of the day could have talked for hours and hours and I would have eagerly listened. Dr. Tim Church, Director of Preventive Medicine at Pennington Biomedical Research Center at Louisiana State University, spoke to us about “Leading and Active Lifestyle in a Sedimentary World.” I sort of refuse to sum up this Doctor’s Education Session for you because I honestly feel that everyone can benefit from watching it and I think you should just do that instead. You can do that here: Dr. Tim Church speaks at the OAC Convention.

After the morning Education Session we headed off to Lunch with the experts. I had the pleasure of sitting at Dr. Kushner’s table where the Topic was “Is my ideal weight ideal for me.” – Dr. Kushner asked us all to sort of go around the room and introduce ourselves and talk a little about who we were and why we had chosen to sit at the table for this topic. I explained to my table that I had a Gastric Bypass in October of 2010 and that I had lost 260 lb. and that I struggled sometimes because my friends think I am getting too thin and I desperately feel the need to have what is considered a “Normal” BMI to be able to validate myself in the Fitness world as a Personal Trainer. This has been a big mind block for me for the last several months, I’ve actually avoided committing to obtaining my certification because I felt like I needed to have a normal BMI before I felt qualified to sign up. Dr. Kushner spoke to our table about the difference between an “ideal weight” and a “healthy weight.” But what Dr. Kushner pointed out to me specifically, was that I can’t expect my body to forget that it once weighed 420 lb.; that I have to take into account where I came from and what is reasonable and attainable to me. Today, I weight 157 lb. that gives me a BMI of 26.0 ( Normal is 18.5 – 24.9 ) What Dr. Kushner pointed out to me is that for me to have a normal BMI I would need to lose another 7 lb. He asked me if there was anything that I felt I couldn’t do now that losing 7 lb. more would allow me to do. He also assured me personal that my weightless was outstanding and that I didn’t need to achieve a perfect BMI score in order to be able to inspire people; that my story and journey and success alone made me qualified and relevant. It was very validating to have someone as notable in their community as Dr. Kushner, this man is an expert on obesity, he conducts clinical research and educates medical students, and here he is taking the time to tell me how well I have done and how much I will be able to inspire people. Dr. Kushner made me see that I don’t need to chase an ideal weight, I just need to maintain a healthy weight and let go of an ideal that isn’t necessarily attainable for my body particularly. I easily admit that I am a little OCD, okay a lot OCD, in fact I’m of the belief that it should be called CDO ( Compulsive Disorder Occurrence ) because I just really think it should be in alphabetical order. But, Dr. Kushner was able to get me to see that I don’t NEED to obsess on an ideal weight that says I am normal, because I’ve already proven I’m above normal with my weight loss success story. Thank you Dr. Kushner again, for giving me the ability to understand something my friends were deeming concerned I might be missing. The healthy weight concept.

My Afternoon Break out Session Selections were Exercise Essentials with Julia Karlstad, who I must say I had the pleasure of talking with a couple of times about my desire to get my personal trainers certification and who made some recommendations to me that really changed where I have decided to get my certification. Between my talks with Julia and my talks with Merrill Littleberry; Vitamin M, and my chat with Mike C. Harper, Associate Director of Education from the Cooper Institute I think that I have pretty much decided two very important things that are going to change where I am going to go with this a little bit. First and foremost I think I am going to get my Certification from the Cooper Institute, and I am going to apply for one of their scholarships that way I can apply the $800 my friends have helped me fundraise through our IndiGoGo Fundraiser, that I was going to use to get a different certification and apply it to my first semester fees because I’ve decided I want to go back to school and get a degree in Exercise Science. I’ve got to see how the timing is going to work out for that though because whatever I decide to do, it is going to HAVE to have me certified in time to open the doors of my Personal Trainer business on my Father’s birthday, July 20th, 2013. 13 has always been my lucky number and my Dad is such an important part of this journey for me that I know that is the day this needs to happen and I will do whatever it takes to achieve that goal right now. I hope that those of you that are reading this that were not able to attend this years conference truly realize how many of these people touched my lives in ways so significant this weekend that I can only hope to do justice to them with the words I write about them. Each of them in one day impacted a huge change in my direction in a few moments of speaking to me.

One of the biggest questions I was looking to resolve for myself going into this Convention was making the decision between which Personal Trainers Certification Program I was going to select to get. I was currently debating between the ISSA and the ACE Programs. But Strangely Enough when I was introduced to Merrill Littleberry, Vitamin M, a Certified Personal Trainer, and Psychotherapist, ( We’ll be talking about her a lot in the future, don’t be surprised. ) she mentioned to me that Michael Harper from the Cooper Institute was there and that I should speak to him about their Personal Trainers Certification Program.  I had never heard of The Cooper Institute, but I took her advice and spoke to Mike after the break out session. Ironically when I also took the time to stop and speak to Julia Karlstad from JKFitness author of Rx Fitness for Weight Loss: The Medically Sound Solution to Get Fit and Save Your Life, and told her of my desire to get my Personal Trainers Certification and after having just listened to her tell her audience that they should only hire a Personal Trainer that was Degreed, Certified and Experienced, she too shook her head when I told her the certifications I was originally considering and suggested The Cooper Institute as one of my considerations as well as the NASM, which they concurred is a difficult exam, but one of the best certifications out there. You know that old saying, “Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, fool me a third time i must be stupid,”? I apply that philosophy to my life in a fate works in mysterious ways sort of fashion. When three people in a row, completely unprompted lead me to the same answer I figure if I fail to hear what the universe is saying to me I’d be making a big mistake. The Cooper Institute here I come!

Now as fate would have it, because lets face it my fellow Seekers, i believe in fate and in karma and in putting out positive energy to people so that you can motivate them. So I bet none of you will ever guess what the other big question plaguing my mind was coming into this Convention weekend. I’m flying home to Portland on November 19th 9 days later, on the 28th I will be going in to do the skin removal surgery on my thighs and I’m scared of the recovery time. I’m also having a lot of body issues. I look in the mirror and I have issues with the woman I see looking back at me. I think she looks old, washed out, worn out, tired and beat up. I find myself being more and more critical of myself everyday. I used to weigh 420 lb. and I could look in the mirror on any given day and muster up the “If you don’t like me kiss my butt.” attitude,. yet now, when I am the healthiest, the fittest, the most active, and let’s face it, the prettiest I have ever been in my life, I am harder on myself than anyone else would ever be. I  notice every little flaw, and I have to constantly remind myself that I will not allow myself to become obsessed with trying to make something “perfect.” I already bounce back and forth with oh should I do a revision on this because it didn’t end up quite as tight as I wanted it. I keep telling myself I’m not going to do anything that I don’t feel I REALLY need to do, or address anything that doesn’t REALLY bother me. So far I’m still leaning towards not doing the implants I had originally planned on and only considering doing an arm revision at this point. But with these being the things that were plaguing my mind as of late as well as, I will admit this now because I’ve been sitting on it and not saying it outloud loud for fear of upsetting my Plastic Surgeon; I’ve been having a little doubt as to whether or not I could have gotten better results with different surgeries. You know how it goes, we always wonder if the grass is greener on the other side, we always want something different from what we have. Would I have been tighter if we had done an anchor incision? Should I have done a 360 Upper Body lift instead of the side gather Abdominoplasty that Dr. O’Brien and I opted for? These thoughts are all normal I’m sure but you can’t even imagine my delight to find myself sitting in the afternoon break out session for Dr. Al Aly, the Pioneer in Body Contouring after massive weight loss. Dr. Aly has been performing plastic surgery on post bariatric surgery patients longer than anyone else in the world. He has lectured or performed live surgery demonstrations in more than 25 countries around the world and educates plastic surgeons about plastic surgery for the bariatric surgery patient. As I sat and listened to Dr. Aly speak I found myself talking to my new friends and telling them how my results looked just as good as the results he was showing in his best results group where the patients had reached the lower BMI ranges. What really tickled me though was when I stood up to ask Dr. Aly a couple of questions about things that concerned me like addressing the lower portion of my arms where incisions from my brachioplasty stopped. I also asked Dr. Aly if he could address the topic of skin relaxation a little bit. He laughed and said that my questions were so good that people were going to think I was a plant in the audience. He told me that my arms could be easily fixed by extending the incision from my brachioplasty down my arm as far as to the wrist if necessary to address that issue and also said that skin relaxation was completely normal and talked about the fact that sometimes a surgery could have to be done over again to address such issues and that there were times as well that even after a revision the same sort of relaxation issues could be experienced. Dr. Al Aly, without even knowing it completely put my mind at ease and looking at his best case scenario before and after pictures has definitely made me realize that I have an outstanding surgeon. I’ll likely get up the courage one day, when my plastics are all officially done to post my before and after photos, but it won’t be for quite a while, post all plastics and post the tattoo work that I will have done do cover the scars afterwards is all done.

I have to admit that only real big moment of the earlier afternoon breakout session, Bariatric Surgery 201 – Giving You the Tools for Post-op Long Term Success was the brief introduction that it gave me to Merrill Littleberry. But I’ll be speaking much more about her in my coverage of Day 3 of the OAC Your Weight Matters 2012 Convention. I in fact left that seminar a bit  early to talk to the CEO of the OAC, Joe Nadglowski about a key point of that seminar and to let him know how impressed I was with the professional and businesslike feel of the convention. After the afternoon sessions I was rushing off to my room in time to change and literally run through the hotel to get to the 5:30 Zumba Class Gold class I signed up for. I was a little disappointed in the turn out for the Zumba Class but I’d wager that had a lot to do with afternoon sessions running later and there already being a ridiculously short time to get changed and make it to the other side of the hotel where the spa and gym facilities were located. The Zumba class still had about 5-6 people show up though, and even though the instructor was fun and upbeat I still found myself struggling to follow the steps. Being a seriously uncoordinated person it takes me a good deal of time to learn choreography type stuff and this was just way out of my element. Zumba is not something I would keep up with on a regular basis. I’ll stick to running and kick boxing and step stuff thank you very much. When you start adding music and you want me to move to a beat to my work out you just get me in the wrong head space completely, it stops being fun and starts being me trying not to embarrass and humiliate myself due to my obvious lac of rhythm.

After my Zumba Gold class I rushed back up to my room to change into my Halloween costume for the evening Festivities. It was a great night! A great party! Lots of photos were taken, lots of friendships were made and lots of bonds formed. I don’t think I can even do justice to the evening with words, I know there was a lot of sharing and a lot of realizing how special our community is. I think sharing the pictures with you is likely the best I can do. In Honor of all of those that attended the OAC Your Weight Matters Convention, I had a lovely evening. Thank you for the memories, and the friendships I know will be growing in the future.

Please bear with me as I get my coverage of the OAC Event posted, late as it may be. I’m in Oakland visiting with Family and friends and awaiting the birth of my niece. I’ll be writing about Day 3 and the OAC Your Weight Matters Convention just as soon as life comfortably allows.

Until then please visit my Facebook Album for pictures from the Halloween Party and the Awards Dinner!

Obesity Action Coalition Convention 2012 Day 1

So I had every intention of writing blogs and doing a video at the OAC Convention, then I got there and realized how incredibly busy I was going to be and how many new friends I would be wanting to spend time with and decided the writing must wait.

So we arrived in Dallas on Wednesday. Heather and I got checked into the Hilton Anatole and got our room in the Tower area of the hotel. The room was very nice, the hotel was very nice too, very large, it had several restaurants, shops, a spa and fitness area a running trail, two bars, pretty much anything your heart could desire. Even a Fed Ex place to save my butt and get my business cards that were left at home.

HJ and I decided to have dinner at the Media Grill were we planned to take advantage of their free Wi-Fi, I’d planned to get a blog written while we had a drink but I decided to check in with Rain Hampton from AfterTheFat.com, someone I was very excited about meeting, and low and behold we were seated about 3 tables away from each other in the restaurant, she and Linda we’re having dinner there too and being the lucky girl that I am I met one of my new besties my very first night there! Rain, Linda, HJ and I spent several hours sitting and talking and dancing. Rain and I stayed out late, talking, sipping on cucumber water and dancing. In fact we danced so much we both left the restaurant sweaty and certain we’d gotten a workout in.

On the way to my Advocacy Training session I decide to head to the gift shop for some hairspray and boy I was so excited when I happen to run into Michelle from The World According to Eggface! I’ve admired and looked up to this woman for so long. I’ve followed her voice through her blog for nearly three years now. Her blog and what she has been able to do for the Bariatric Surgery community through sharing her passion and love for food by providing healthy, delicious and easy recipes for the weight loss community is simply amazing.  Along with Michelle I also met another Weight Loss blogger that I had just recently found and started to follow, Beth AKA MeltingMama the founder of the Bariatric Bad Girls Group on Facebook. I tagged along with both of them and their friend Sarah and we had breakfast together. I also got the opportunity to meet Shawna and Carla, two members of the BBGs for the first time at breakfast. A whole table of what would become new friends by the end of the weekend. And then we were off to the Advocacy training program.

The next morning we were up bright and early for the Advocacy Training program. Now I have to admit, going into the OAC Convention I wanted to get involved. My passion for fighting obesity is limitless and my desire to help others is one the biggest needs I have ever felt within myself. But I had no idea how much attending this Advocacy Training session would change my life. I’ve never been a very political person. I’ve never been the type of person that would get into an opinionated  conversation about a political issue. I’m more the type to avoid Politics and Religion knowing that they often lead to disagreements. But as I sat there and listened to Joe Nadglowski, the CEO of the OAC and Chris Gallagher, the OAC’s Policy Consultant explaining the concept of Marching to Capital Hill in defense of a bill that might affect people with obesity; suddenly I realized, there is a point I will indeed get involved in politics, a point where I care enough. When the politics start affecting the goals and aspirations I have by affecting the people I want to help. You’re damn right I’m ready to risk talking about one of the big No Nos in order to try to make a difference.

The best way I can explain this, I’m the type of person that always roots for the underdog, that always fights for the victim and wants to take down the bully. I’m that girl who will be completely non confrontational with you, I’ll be calm and rational with you, but you mess with my friends and I’ll come out swinging like a mama bear defending her cub. That’s just who I am, I’ve been a fighter my whole life, I’ve fought emotional battles for a long time, I’ve got good training, and I’ll come out with my gloves on to defend someone else so that they don’t ever get emotionally beat up the way I did faster that you can blink.

Several times along my weight loss journey I have had moments of epiphanies. Moments that something hits me and I realized that I have just achieved another mental breakthrough. I love these moments because for someone who was used to having mental breakdowns ALL the time this is a very big non scale victory for me. It shows how much I have grown as a person and how far I have come in breaking the cycle of abuse that plagued my family.

As I sat there participating in the OAC Advocacy Training program; all I could think of was the day that my Personal Trainer first introduced me to Kick Boxing. While we were doing combo punches on that bag I felt so much emotional release. It was a physical manifestation of the anger I needed to release. I beat the heck out of that bag. Ever since I’ve used exercise as a physical outlet for anger and frustration. The more I need to workout the harder I push myself to do it. I saw what the OAC was telling us we could do on Capital Hill as my opportunity to find my emotional release. I believe that our weight loss journey consists of several elements, some physical, some emotional, some mental. I think we need to be engaged in all those ways, and I think; working with the OAC is going to be another way for me to be engaged emotionally and mentally. I’m so excited.

We ended the evening at the meet and greet at the hotel where I got to meet WanningWoman for the first time. You have no idea how excited I was. There are two women in this community whose voices I followed through a time in my life that was full of darkness. It is amazing how much one person’s voice can stand out like that. But for me, when I was struggling through one of the most emotional times of my life after my Father’s death, there were two women who were really able to help me with what they were sharing on their blogs.

Michelle: The World According to Eggface: I could follow her voice and find answers about what to eat and put in my mouth when I was struggling to eat at all, her examples and suggestions kept me trying things and eating rather than sitting in bed crying and grieving.

Keisha : WanningWoman: This woman’s confidence, her take no prisoners approach and her drive and determination coupled on top of her ability to persevere against crazy odds reminded me often of what kind of voice I wanted to have when I was done healing emotionally. Her voice guided me back into the light and every picture she posted in that I’m bringing my sexy back attitude reminded me of the woman I wanted to be. We headed out with Keisha and several of her friends, and I’ve got to say, this Dallas local crowd were the first to open their arms up to me and truly make me feel welcome. The moment I hung out with these women I knew I had started to build friendships that would last.

I got to meet both of these women my first day at the OAC Convention and both of them were just as genuine in person as they are on their blogs. I’ll always admire these women greatly for what they were able to give to me trough sharing their voices on their blogs and websites. I’ll always credit them for inspiring me to do the same. But now, after visiting the OAC Convention I have the privilege of calling these two amazing women my friends.

My first day at the OAC Convention was amazing. But it just got better and better each day…

Stay Tuned for day two!

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Author of Desperately Seeking Slender
Jaime "Pandora" Williams

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