I was going to write a blog today about this amazing experience I had in the gym yesterday…. But then I woke up this morning to A Letter from Chris Powell, and well, I will just have to share that amazing gym experience later, but it’s now on my list of things to blog about!
Imagine my surprise when the first thing I see this morning when I log into Facebook is…
Another click and my heart stopped as I realized that Chris Powell had PERSONALLY responded to ME! To ME! To little old insignificant x-fat girl ME! But when I read what he had to say…. OMG I started jumping up and down, screeching with excitement, going “HE said I’m AMAZING! HE said HE is proud of ME! OMG HE actually wrote ME back!” I mean with someone like Chris Powell you expect that they will be able to touch your life the way they do others, but you NEVER expect that you will be able to touch theirs enough to get them to notice you and to get a response like this…
About two and half years ago when this journey began I had never watched Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition, I didn’t really know anything about Chris Powell, and honestly as far as famous trainers go, I knew Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels from watching the Biggest Loser a few times and that was about it.
Once I had my Gastric Bypass and my life became so focused on Weight Loss, being healthy and exercising, I started watching a lot more shows. I watched Ruby, I watched the documentaries on people that had had Gastric Bypass and Skin removal surgeries on cable and I started watching Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition with Chris Powell.
From the beginning I just saw Chris Powell as someone that stood out among the masses. The way that he dealt with people, there was genuineness there that I didn’t see on a lot of other shows about people that were morbidly obese and trying to lose weight. The one thing I noticed more than anything was that Chris seemed to key in on not just the food and exercise aspect of weight loss, but the emotional journey that it is as well.
That’s one thing a lot of people don’t understand about extreme weight loss. For me losing the weight wasn’t just about losing the weight and being healthy, it was about reclaiming my life as my own. Once I realized that my weight was a huge self-defense mechanism to make sure that people didn’t hurt me, I realized that it hadn’t really protected me at all. In fact, hiding behind weight got me hurt a lot more just in the way people’s eyes bugged out when they looked at me, or the shock on their face as they walked by me and realized how big I was. Not to mention the rude comments from people in cars driving by you when you are walking down the street. And from a health standpoint, it never did anything but hurt me. Diabetic and taking insulin 3x a day in my 20s, Sleep Apnea, High Blood Pressure, Sever Edema, Skin Disorders, rashes and yeast infections in the crevices of my body that I couldn’t keep dry… the medical complications were endless.
But once you get all that weight off, you are faced with whole new issues. The excess skin issues I honestly feel are even more emotionally hard to deal with that the fat was. In fact I’ve heard of women that purposely sabotage their weight loss when they start to face the excess skin issues because they decide they would rather be big and tight that skinny and wrinkly and saggy. For me, the skin wasn’t so much about how I looked; it was about not being able to truly see what I had accomplished. It was this feeling, that even after fighting so hard to lose all that weight, the people who had abused me enough to make me turn to food and being heavy as a means to protect myself still seemed to have concurred me. For me, reaching the end of my journey, being able to look in the mirror and see a Healthy, Fit and Slender me, meant I was reclaiming control of my life from the people that once took it from me. I have one more surgery left to go, but I feel that goal is nearly accomplished now. One of the hardest parts of the last year for me has been that my Father was not here to see the end of a journey I began to help put his mind at ease about my Health. I wanted my Father to know that I was going to be OK. The fact that he had to leave me before I finished and that he wasn’t really in any condition to understand how much I had truly achieved even when he saw me after the first stroke had hit him in January. It was just hard for me to never have my Father be able to say to me, “I’m proud of you,” – There have been a lot of people that have said those words, Tom, Jason, Heather, my Mother, My best friends Debby and Ashli, and while they all mean so much to me, it never was quite the same as having my Father say it. In fact right after I woke Heather up to tell her and Jason a text to tell him next I sent a text to my BFF and Soul Sister Debby AKA “Tora” to tell her! After that I called Ashli to tell her but of course she didn’t answer her phone as usual. Next I posted all about it on Facebook, Twitter, Updated my “Letter to Chris Powell” Page with his response. And later called my Aunt Bev to tell her about it too!
Today when I read Chris Powell’s Letter to me it brought tears to my eyes. I think that having Chris Powell himself tell me that I am amazing and that he is proud of me, is probably about the closest thing to having my Father say it to me. And you know, I do believe that my Dad is still out there somewhere, watching over me, anytime something amazing to me happens I always find myself wanting to go for a run and talk to my Father and say, “Thanks Dad, for still looking out for me from wherever you are.”
Today was a pretty amazing day for me. All around. I feel inspired, I feel like I am headed in the right direction. Everyone once in a while Heather and I will eat Chinese food. It’s a good healthy option for me once in a while as long as I stick to something like green bean chicken or mushroom chicken. I have to make sure the protein is lean, not breaded and that it’s cooked in healthy oils. Anytime we’ve had Chineese food since I’ve decided to move forward on this buiness I have kept my the fortune in my cookie and let Heather eat it…. So far I have….
“Fame and Fortune are coming your way.”
“Your Confidence will lead you to Sucess.”
I don’t care about Fame or Fortune, but today I definitely feel like I’m headed towards success. Who’s coming with me?