When you start a blog like this you have every intention on keeping up with it. They suddenly you realize how much of this journey is emotional, personal, and a times, so private that you can’t really share it. I’ve spent the last year and a half running and it’s time for me to finally stop, stand still and remind myself that right now, at this moment, my Family has decided this is the time for me.
The people that I love very dearly have given up things that are important to them to make sure that I get to the end of this journey and that I am able to take back my life and I’ve got some really big goals to meet by the end of the year and I can’t let anything slow me down right now. No matter how important anyone else thinks their stuff is right now, I need to put me first for a while, despite as self-centered as a lot of my Family think I am, I’ve put everyone else before me my entire life, and I promised myself the day they rolled me into that surgery room to have my Gastric Bypass that I would spend however long it took after that, focused on me, to make sure I got to my goals. And I’ve given up a lot of that time and focus, happily to be there when my Father and my Family needed me. But now, I need to get back to me again, and if that loses me support along the way, then I’ll have to dig a bit deeper to find the strength and courage to look for the support I need in new places.
What I find amazing, is that I know that I used to be the sort of person that buried emotions with food. And I have admittedly eaten a lot more comfort foods in the last week or so that I usually do, but they have all been healthy and I believe that my body needs a little more than normal right now while it heals from this recently skin removal surgery.
I intend to start writing again more regularly. I’m not sure what I intend to share but I do intend on writing more.
I also intend to give the site a new look, and probably a bit of a new direction.
Most of all I intend to keep you updated on my progress towards my two biggest goals right now – becoming a Personal Trainer and reaching my goal weight and completely the excess skin removal surgeries.
I do feel comfortable enough at this point to start posting some before and after photos, but I want to get some really nice after shots and since I know Heather is amazing with a camera, we’ll do that after I heal and am a little more comfortable in my own skin, but it’s coming soon!
I’m going to talk later about the recent skin removal surgery and how that’s gone and how I’m feeling about myself.
For right now I need to try to get a good night’s sleep. I’m unplugging the phone, turning off my cell, putting a sleeping mask over my eyes and I’m going to sleep until my body says, “No, really, please get out of bed now.”